quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
