I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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