I hate all girls vehemently.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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