thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
