These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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