I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
