btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I skipped work to stalk him.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
