The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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