Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
