im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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