I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
