You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize