Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
