So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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