There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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