Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
