Are we in a gay sports bar?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
