Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
