I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
