so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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