I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
