Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
