I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
