I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
