Me too!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
