Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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