So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
