hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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