If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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