did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
