It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
