Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Randomize
