I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
