you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
