Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
