our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
