Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
