My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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