We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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