Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
