The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I need to stop coming to work sober
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
