the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
