To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
