I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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