Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
