I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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