Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
