just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
