Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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