i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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