Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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