how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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