I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
