your room smells of hookers.
And success
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
