This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
