I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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