I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
