they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
