I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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