is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
