You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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