your parents love me but you hate me
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
